OK, I’ve spent quite a bit of time busting Collateral Damage for its many faults. No malicious intent there, it’s just that we’ve all experienced frustration of cars that don’t work right, and Collateral is such an easy target.

So is there anything I like about the old relic? Well-meaning moms across the country say that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
But that would wipe out the politics, comedy, and the news industry.

But back to the topic. As I’m enduring the car’s bad habits, which have been well cataloged here and in my issue #4 editorial, I also appreciate:

The Steering Wheel. Mustang’s Deluxe wheel, with its three metal spokes, genuine imitation wood-like plastic, is a beaut. I’ve always noticed steering wheels, the driver’s perpetual interface with his car, and the Mustang Deluxe wheel is an all-time great.

Racing Stripes. Collateral’s weak six might have a shot at knocking off a diesel Volvo or a kid on a motorized skateboard, but not much else. Even so, I’ve always liked the Mustang stripes, be they the offset stripe that runs down the driver’s side of the car, or the twin Shelby stripes that are so oft imitated. This is genuine period-cool, that was picked up by just about everyone else on earth.

Ignition Switch. This peculiar admiration surely goes back to youthful nostalgia. That’s OK. To me, chrome knobs with the chrome bezel is how knobs are supposed to look. I like the ACC, OFF, RUN, START  and the Ford bars-and-chevron designed into the key. It’s little stuff like this that makes owning a vintage Ford fun.

The Shape. Funny, but even in its droopy condition, the little coupe’s shape still catches my eye in a parking lot. Wish I could say the same for… uh, never mind.

Cruise-O-Matic’s 2^nd Gear Take Off. A unique talent designed into the vintage Ford Cruise-O-Matic is its ability to engage 2^nd gear from a standing stop. Shifting other transmissions into 2^nd stops them from shifting beyond 2^nd, but you still start out in 1^st. Not so with the Cruise-O-Matic. Why do this? Because starting out in 2^nd reduces torque to the rear wheels. I used to think this was not only less fun, but unnecessary — the goal of life was to get MORE torque to the rear wheels. But eventually the day came when I, stopped on an ice patch could not move. The slightest touch of the throttle would spin the tires, at least until I shifted into 2^nd and deftly applied the tiniest bit of throttle. Then the reduced torque got the car rolling instead of spinning. I’m 51 years old, and have only used that feature once 25 years ago, but I can’t look at the shifter quadrant and see the little blue dot for 2^nd gear without remembering how it did come in handy back then.

The Starter Sound. I won’t try to describe it, but the starter — an original, has its own signature sound which, growing up, signaled the beginning of every happy trip — vacation, mom’s spontaneous outings to Dairy Queen, hauling our little motorcycles to the far side of the airport for a Saturday ride, and a bit of recreational cruising once I got my license. Hearing it again has become a Pavlovian response that I associate with good times.

So Collateral isn’t all bad. But it might have been hard to convince me otherwise had I not grown up with Fords.